everyone's a critic

Today is the start of the movie madness that has been branded simply as TIFF. Everyone in the film industry knows what this means: the Toronto International Film Festival (in case you've been living under a rock or without TV for the past decade or so).

This festival is not only on par with Cannes and Sundance in terms of celebrity glitz and indie influence, it is also an annual pilgrimage for us small-potato Canadian filmmakers hoping to ride the coattails of some friend-of-a-friend into fame and fortune (or at least a good party or two).

Nothing can describe the excitement of having a première at TIFF--as a Canadian filmmaker you feel sky-high, thinking the experience is going to change your life. I was lucky enough to have a taste of this two years ago when my short was an "official selection" (allowing me to emblazon my press materials with the coveted laurels and TIFF logo for all time).

The festival did end up changing my life, but not in the way I thought it would. Imagine my dismay after arriving in Toronto, picking up my industry pass, greeting my cast and crew, who had flown across the country to be there, only to open up the free Toronto weekly and read a scathing review saying my film was terrible and brought down the program. "Crushed" does not even begin to describe the feeling. Having invested two years of blood, sweat and tears along with thousands of dollars of my own money in the project, my sense of pride and accomplishment was instantly stomped on.

I still made the most of the festival and had a great time, but was haunted by this skunk in the woodpile. A writer friend of mine once told me to never, ever respond to your critics, but I've decided to respond indirectly--by setting an example.

When I attend TIFF this year (not as a filmmaker, but as a blogger) I will try to refrain from any criticisms that are catty, self-important or deconstructive. In fact, Mom's advice to say nothing at all when one has nothing nice to say is, as always, best; I know how hard it is to make a film and how devastating negative reaction can be, especially to an emerging artist.

Now, let's hope I can get into some screenings.....